I got so many great feedback after I wrote my post ‘Just A Mom’. Thank you all for that. Now just let me clarify one thing: I am immensely proud of being a mom. I am proud of my kids and the way we deal with each other. I am proud of the work I do all day long and what kind of influence it has on my children. I am happy to be a mom and there is no ‘just’ in my life. It is a big part of who I am.
So while being a mom, a writer and a blogger over the last couple of days, I also processed this post here. And I just want to get into it a little further.
While we are consumed in looking after our children and keep everything running as smooth as possible, we are still also women. There is still this little girl left in us, the teenager, who one day fell in love for the first time. The young woman who was confident with her looks, her smarts and felt attractive. We are still the young woman who fell madly in love with the man who today is our husband. Somewhere we are still that young woman who felt attracted to this man, felt wanted and loved and passionate. But, man, we are so damn exhausted at the end of the day. Or at least I am.
I am still this woman, who wants to be with my husband. Who wants to feel the passion, the love, the fun. Everything. But the days are just not as long as they are used to be. So often I fall into my bed and in no time I am fast asleep.
Where did the energy go? Where did the energy of working all day, going out, dancing for hours and then go home and spend a passionate night together? What happened to it? It’s not the passion that is missing. It’s not the attraction or the desire. It’s just the energy. Where or when does it happen? How do we get there? Oh I so want this energy back. Not all of it but enough for not feeling that exhausted all the time.