Lonely Or Alone?

When was the last time you felt really, truly lonely?

I don’t know. I am not even sure if I ever felt really and truly lonely… I don’t think so.

At all times in my life I had the support of either my mother or father or my friends and now for sure my husband and kids. I had moments in my life when I felt I was on my own. But loneliness is something totally different and I think we need to make this difference. Do we feel alone or left alone or do we feel truly lonely?

They are two totally different things. Being alone can feel bad and can hurt but it’s not loneliness and every now and then I think it is even good for you to be alone. Just to ground yourself again. Being lonely though is so much different.

Loneliness:
1. Sadness, because one has no friends or company
2. (of a place) the quality of being unfrequented and remote; isolated

Being lonely is not feeling on your own, or being on your own. Being lonely is something stronger. A place I don’t want to be. I think that if you have the right people in your life, you will never be lonely. They fill this space, if you allow them to. Not only a place can be isolated, a person can be too. And I think all this comes together when you are lonely. There are truly no people in your life. No family, no friends, nobody. Nobody notices you, nobody cares. You may even be isolated.

Many years ago, after I was left by a guy I had a relationship with, who had previously promised me heaven on earth, I felt alone. I’ve never felt so bad before, so sad and kind of robbed of a time on this guys side. I felt hurt and left behind and lied to. But there was my friend, who was there to pick me up. He picked me up, he listened, he was there, he came over when I felt so sad, that I didn’t know what to do anymore. I was in a dark place then. Not myself at all.

Although I felt alone because this guy had left me, I was not lonely at all as my friend was there. Actually three of my best friends were there. All the time, or better whenever I needed them. Not only did they dry my tears and listened but they also put my feed back on the ground. They ‘healed’ me. They were like a safety net and I still appreciate it, even today. I am in the lucky position to say, that I have never ever truly and really felt lonely. Alone yes, but never lonely. And I am glad this is the case.

I wonder though, writing this, if we choose to be lonely? If we choose not to let people into our life? If we are the ones who isolate ourselves from potential friends out there?

In response to The Daily Post Daily Prompt – Cut Off

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23 Comments

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  1. The loneliest time I ever had was when my husband, little daughter, and I moved 1100 miles away from where we lived for 30 years. My mother-in-law had a temporary apartment about 2 hours north of where we were going to be living. She had to leave to work across the state, but had kept the apartment for a couple more weeks for us so we could confirm where we would be living. My husband went for a week to the city where we would be living to get things settled for us. That left just my daughter and I in a strange apartment, knowing no one. I remember laying in bed one night, crying one night crying from loneliness. Then a strange, beautiful thing happened. It was as if God let down a blanket of love and calmed me. While the next couple days, waiting for my husband, had some loneliness, it was far from as bad because I knew God was with me.

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  2. It is hard to admit, but I think that sometimes people do choose to be lonely. Not because they want to drown in misery or take pleasure in being sad. Rather, being in that state becomes a comfort zone and all that they are used to. It becomes home. What an insightful read!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Self imposed loneliness is the worst. I think a lot of people do that. They get hurt by someone so badly that the wall goes up and they cut themselves off. Sad, really. But oh so common. Great post!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Over the last year, being in the hospital three times for nearly a month each time, there were many days when I felt lonely, even though there were nurses and techs in and out of my room multiple times a day. My family came as often as they could, as did friends, but the majority of my days I was alone with my thoughts and the sound of my own breathing.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I like to be alone a lot. I think I’ve only really felt lonely when I’m with someone and they don’t understand me. I don’t know if that makes sense or not, but when I think about being lonely, that’s what I remember. I definitely chose isolation often, but I’m open to those I love.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Very nice post. I agree with everyone. At times when we get hurt, we are lonely and we wanted to be alone for some time to lick our wounds and recover. But most of the time, just like what tamtam012013 and noplainjanie said, it becomes our comfort zone to a point that it already becomes self imposed. Our loved ones are there to lift us up but its always our choice to move on or stay lonely.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Being alone is a choice. Being lonely is a curse.
    It’s that simple.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have felt lonely after breakups as well. Right now I am in the middle of the second truly soul-crushing breakup in my life so far. When you rely on someone else emotionally for so long, it’s lonely to be without that person, even if you know he wasn’t the right person to rely on. But we always emerge from the dark tunnel and bask in the sunlight. We meet new people who are hopefully between than the ones we’ve encountered in the past.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. There’s definitely a difference between alone and lonely. Through the years, I’ve come to believe that lonely happens when one is not comfortable being alone.

    Liked by 1 person

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